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Get me through

Written to God on March 10th, 2012
3 have prayedpray for me

Dear God,

I have had a rough time since i was 18. I got pregnant with my first son by a very abusive alcoholic man when i was 18 and let him take from me and my child up until i was 23. He had another baby outside of our relationship and was never able to truly get over it until i got pregnant with my second son when i was 23 by another man who made me believe he was a good man. Everything was good and i thought i had finally found my happiness until i was 8 months pregnant and found out he had gotten a couple other girls pregnant as well. Those children were never born so i tried to stick it out for another 5months. Nothing changed. Many nights he wouldnt come home and i was alone most of the time taking care of my 2 boys. I caught him cheating again and finally left. I guess i just hadnt let him hurt me enough because even after i left i kept going back. I got pregnant again and term’d the pregnancy. I felt so guilty for doing it i let him get me pregnant again a couple months later just to turn around and lose thay baby because i let him stress me out so bad. I am so irresponsible i again got pregnant by him again a few more months after that. I rationalized it to my self that maybe with another baby he would care more and want to do right by us. I also told myself that i really wanted a little girl and not by a 3rd man. He tried to come around through my pregnancy but I never really believed his attempts as sincere so i pushed him away and didnt really let him come around even up until my daughter s birth i didnt let him come. Now my daughter os 3 weeks old and he doesn’t care anymore then he did before. If anything he cares less because i wouldn’t let him be around. I am not a welfare mom, i work very hard and continue to go to school so i can take care of my children. I just feel its entirely unfair i get stuck by myself with all of the heart ache. I need strength and hope that i can get through this. I am so miserable doing this by myself and feel like i will never get over the pain this man put me through! I even felt suicidal most of my pregnancy. Some days i still feel this way. The pain from all the betrayal is unbearable. Please give me hope and bring good people into my life. I dont have many friends and need to just feel loved by more people then just my kids and my parents who are the only source of stable, consistent help i have. Please lead me to tje patg that will lead to recovery because right now i just feel lost and dont know which waay to go. I love you my lord and please answer my prayer!

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Comments

Comment from toni
Time August 14, 2012 at 5:26 am

It seems that you need the Lord Jesus in your life, you need him and you also need to put him FIRST not you, not your kids, not your need for a human friend. Please listen to this, Jesus loves you and you need him. He fills that hole that is in your heart that you have search your whole life to fill with men instead. Change that, choose Jesus, he is there 24 hours a day 7 days a week, he is Creator of the universe, and lover of your soul. He died so you might live in Love Joy and peace. Put him first, taste and see that the Lord is Good. Isaiah 54 was and is a promise to those women that are on their own, bringing up children, You can live mightiliy and victoriously in calm patient courage and all god given gifts. Find a live church and bring your children up in the way the lord will care for them.

I pray for you that the lord intervene in your life and show his goodness to you and fill your heart with Joy ! unspeakable Joy, that has no human word to really show how it feels, Lord Jesus, show loryn your goodness faithfullness and miraculous power an love for her. Touch her heart to receive your goodness, i Pray this in the name of Jesus Amen

Comment from Helen
Time January 17, 2013 at 1:29 pm

God loves you more than you know!!

Comment from karen
Time July 19, 2013 at 8:23 pm

Don’t give up on your life…God definitely hasn’t. He will get you through this time and you can trust in him.

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