Dear Lord,

It’s been a few days..I’ve slipped again, I can’t Father. I can’t do right, I know that what I’m doing is wrong, and I always choose to do it anyway. I can’t stop myself from partying, from smoking, from just doing generally stupid things that should be easily avoidable, I don’t even know where to begin. I don’t deserve anything you‘ve given me, all I do is ignore it or ruin it somehow.

I finally reached my breaking point, hearing everyone talking about Brooklyn, I just couldn’t stand it. I don’t think anyone saw me, but I couldn’t help but cry. I knew what she was like, but I don’t like thinking of her like that, when I was with her, everything in the world was perfect. It’s been almost a year, I’m not over her, I’m nowhere near over her. I’m never going to get past this, ever. I can’t stop thinking about her, no matter what I’m doing or how hard I try. It’s overwhelming and I can’t do it. She and Riley were literally everything to me, I understand why she went to Thomas, I understand and I can’t blame her for it. I can’t blame him, and I can’t even blame myself. I know how hard it was for her to be with me after the miscarriage, I know what it was like for her. I just don’t know why it had to happen, why did Riley have to go? I could have taken care of him, I might only be 18, but I was much more than capable of taking care of him and her.

I’m leaving for Paris Island next month, I know I’ll make it through, and I know it’s going to be hard. Through You all things are possible, and I haven’t a shadow of a doubt that I can do this with your help Father. I’m sorry for everything I’ve done, Thank You.

Your servant,
Jordan Christopher King

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