Dear God, I can’t do this anymore.Written to God on February 6th, 2012
I’ve slipped badly Father, I said I would live my life for you and I just can’t get it right. I’m sorry for that, I can keep trying, but I will keep failing.
I tried to talk to her today, just to see if there was any chance of me and her just being friends at the very least. She didn’t even reply, she’s completely and totally done with me. I don’t understand how she could just move on so fast, I can’t do it, I’ve tried with everything I have and then some, I’m exhausted. I can’t talk to anyone but you, I have no one but you Lord, I know you’re doing what’s best for me, but I don’t think I’m strong enough to handle it anymore. I tried talking about it with some of my friends, I’ve never done that before, the only end result was me feeling worse about it. How can I move on when someone I Loved as much as her is gone from my life. I’ve tried to think of anything that could be worse and I can’t, the only thing worse would be if I lost you too, I don’t ever want that to happen Lord. Please don’t leave me, I need you more than ever, I can’t keep going like this. I can’t lay awake every night thinking about her, every second of every day she completely envelopes every thought in my mind. I’m not breaking anymore Lord, I’m broken. I’ve lost all traces of strength that I thought I had, I’m weak, I’m broken, and I’m before you begging for strength, begging for forgiveness. I ask only one thing of you Lord, someone I can talk to. I can’t talk to my friends, I can’t talk to my parents or anyone about this. Please Dear Father..please.
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