You know I need help in every area of my life. I know I turned my back on you after I lost my brother. Please forgive me. Those years without you ruined my life. I don’t want my children to suffer any longer for the mistakes I have made. If you must, take my life, spare my children and give them a life they deserve. I know I don’t deserve them. They are amazing and I am pathetic. I want so badly to make them happy. I feel like my oldest resents and hates me. I don’t know how to become closer to her or to help her understand that I meant no harm. I am but a lost soul trying to find my way while providing for them. Please help me for my children. I want nothing more than to be a good mother to them but I don’t know how. What do I do?? Please help before its too late.